Sunday, June 26, 2016

Alice Marie Larson my mother in law a woman of faith

I have decided a take a summer breather from blogging. So much is happening so quickly .This is going to be a little sad blog but I just have need to speak my truth. First Since May my mother in law was starting to have health troubles.We would be getting updates and I kinda had nothing to say in my blog. I would start  to write and then delete.This last Fathers day a week ago we rushed up to Long Beach to be with Alice as she passed. It was a peaceful passing and I am so grateful for that.

I feel like a yo yo of emotions happy moments and just sad grief.
  About a week and a half ago we got new floors and with that alot of stuff was being moved in and out and dust sanding and of course my allergies went crazy.
I had developed a bad cough since all the dust and stuff that was in the house so when Alice called the day before she died I couldn't talk because of my horrible cough. She wanted to talk to me so I listened as she told Jack what a wonderful daughter in law I was. I regret I didn't speak to her more then I can say . I just had such a cough when talking. ...

                                                            (This was at her 99 birthday)

 Last Saturday was a big family reunion I had a big family reunion with family members I had never met in my life.There were second cousins and a cousin that lives in Crest I had never met. He drives his golf cart by our house and his dog trailing behind and Maulie loves to bark at him. Lol! I saw a brother who I had not seen in eight years and felt such mixed emotions familia and yet not.

 When my daughter became ill with MS We were kinda on our own. Sometimes when your going thru an incredible life changing event family isn't who is there for you.Nobody knows what to do and  it isn't like your getting better like the flu. It is something your family is going thru the rest of your life.Your life is never the same. You are hanging on by a finger nail and only people who have been thru true illness and heart break can truly understand.Sometimes you can't even talk about it because you relive it. Alice was always there for us .We became so much closer in those years she was the constant positive mother in law that loved our family so much.

When someone dies it seems to stir up all the other losses.I remember the feeling of  the unknown of the illness that was gripping my daughter and not knowing what was wrong. Megan  had worked so hard much like her grandmother Alice who had been a  nurse my Megan was an archaeologist who had graduated with honors.
My daughters Megan's whole life was working hard on her education for her a dream to be an archaeologist, then at the peak of her life and so close to getting her masters degree losing her health.
A parents true grief is when your child is struggling and you can't fix an illness that is devastating her life and body.The things you take for granted just like walking being young and happy and carefree has changed. Seeing a person you love in constant physical pain and not be able to do anything but pray and hope for the best.  Having a chronic illness like MS is like a daily ping pong ride one moment everything fine the next there is an exasperation and she is having seizures from pain and unable to walk. Sometimes your illness isn't like a text book illness and others judge you.  Come to find out Megan had three auto immune diseases. Never ever ever judge someone who is chronically ill you have no idea how much effort they put in the simple act of showing up for a function.If you don't understand what's wrong with someones illness just be kind it really is not that hard.The well people of this world have the luxury of just that being well.
You find out who will be there for you in the long haul and unfortunately I found out we were on our own much of the time.

 We were in survival mode trying to help our daughter driving the hour and a half  to Sun City for years and years and Alice was our prayer partner . She gave me the strength when my heart just felt broken as Megan faced one horrible health challenge after another . Her unconditional love was something I will never forget.The last eight or ten years in her 90's she emailed us weekly knew every thing that was happening to us as we struggled.
 I originally started this blog because I needed to see that I did have a good life even though my heart was permanently scarred. But I had faith cause Alice showed me her constant example. Just Keep praying......

Alice was from the depression era of hard work and frugal. Her Dad had died when she was seven and so her mom took up the husbands taxidermy business and boarders and survived Ohio winters.One of  her toys was a real stuffed squirrel.
 Alice actually has a star in La Mesa California for the countless hours of service for her community
She was my younger brothers catechism teacher and she was a strict teacher.There is so much of her I could tell and yet.
 As much as Alice was a extraordinary volunteer how she touched me was so simple.
Alice was a woman of faith. Alice's bible is filled with notes and scribbles and bits of cut out yellowed newspaper clipping of bible passages . I was asked as we left Long beach and Bixby Towers was there anything  I wanted.  I wanted that big clunky bible with Alice's small handwriting notes here and there and filled with a life time of prayer.I will miss her encouragement and her constant praise of how I was managing being there for two families my daughters and hubby and me .Her Bible will be my life time bible study and I will miss those emails and such mothers love to all of us . I will just have to pray harder in the hard times lean on her notes and hold on for dear life.

I have a funny story Jack told me how he never knew that chocolate chip cookies had more then one chip in them.  Alice only had one chip at the top of the cookie. She could make a bag of chocolate chips last a year. Alice lived 99 healthy years blind in one eye and yet able to help others always.

So after being there last Sunday as Alice passed. Monday Jack took me for a referral  eye doctor appointment  I couldn't cancel.I  have cataracts so July will be two surgeries but then my eyes will be better hopefully! Then the next emotion was Wednesday hubby and I were at a Highway patrol  awards banquet where Hubby was getting an award.Thursday I was at another doctor because my cough wouldn't go away I  have bronchitis asthma and laryngitis plus I can't see Lol.
So this Wednesday she will be buried and life will begin for me with a wonderful bible of Alice's to guide me and notes from  Alice to hopefully grow in faith and get thru this crazy life.maybe some of Alice will rub off on me.Hugs cheri
Here are some quick pics.
                                                  The chickens want to jump on the railroad

                                                                  It's hot in Crest

                                                                  CHP awards banquet

                                                        California Highway patrol Award
                                            Jack was nominated CHP non uniform employee of the year for
                                             Border Division.Jack works at division headquarters.

                                                         A grandmothers love

                                                      My new floors and Alice's chair
                                                      Maulie likes to jump on it and look out the window!

                                                                        Two of the girls


Julie - My Primitive Heart said...

Hi Cheri,
I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet MIL!!! Your heart will always hold a special place for her, and being able to have her Bible is so wonderful for you!!! I'm sure she is smiling down from Heaven, knowing you will grow in your faith through her well-loved Bible!! What a precious gift and one you will cherish!! May it bring you comfort, knowing that her life was deeply touched by those wonderful words, and may God give you comfort and peace!!
Congratulations to your hubby for his award! What an honor!!
I'm also sorry for all you and your family go through with your daughter's health!! Our children hold our hearts and when they hurt, we hurt!!! May God comfort you and bless you with hope!
Take care and I hope your break from blogging will allow you to get some rest and renewal!
Warmest Hugs~

Larkrise garden girl said...

Thank you Julie for your kind words. Hugs cheri

Saundra said...

What a wonderful tribute you gave for a beautiful woman. Am so sorry for your loss but am sure that Bible will give you comfort, wisdom and you will feel her presence. A funny story about the chocolate chips.

Congrats on the CHP award. Oh, my girlfriend recently had cataract surgery and she was surprised how her sight became so clear. She is having her other eye done soon. Hugs.

kelley said...

What a beautiful tribute to your mother in law...I would love to have met and spent time with very glad you have her bible, a treasure beyond words...MS is such a devastating disease...working in the ER I see its effects nieces husband has it and is so lucky to work for a company that has compassion...wishing you peace in your heart...

hugs, Kelley

Larkrise garden girl said...

Saundra I am so looking forward to the surgery on my eyes. I am having both eyes done two weeks apart.
Young eye doctor in her thirtys but does it all the time. I have boxes of Alice belonging to go thru today . So I am up early putting things away. My daughter wanted her afghans and her aprons.
Tomorrow will be a normal meeting with my friend Linda.Her car is getting worked on so were going to hang out and catch up. When Megan got MS I met Linda her daughter Ava has MS and we have been friends since all these years.
Kelly I am so sorry about your nieces husband.I feel their pain.I sure wish they could find a cure for illnesses that devastate people so much.
I worked for 18 years in the lab at a large hospital . So I know how sad it can be getting results you wish you would never hear.
Thanks again my blogger friends for such kind words.cheri

acorn hollow said...

You have a lot on your plate. you were blessed to have such a wonderful mother in law. I have 2 cousins that have MS bother and sister. My aunt struggles a lot with it.
I hope your eye surgery goes well I know it makes a great difference.

Larkrise garden girl said...

Cathy I feel for you it can be such a roller coaster auto immune diseases. I have been blessed with friends that have gone with me on this journey these last years. I will miss Alice her constant positive emails her prayers and her belief that we were all going to get thru health crisis after health crisis. She was truly a woman who lived a life that was truly full! Hugs cheri

Farm Girl said...

Dear Cheri,
What a wonderful tribute to your wonderful Mother-in-law.
I am so sorry you lost her but she is in heaven now. I hope you get well fast and are feeling back to normal soon.
As mother's I think we carry that sadness deep inside of ourselves. We have also been alone in raising our children with no one ever to even pray for us as you have had your mother in law. It keeps your marriage strong though as you learn to pull with each other. I am so glad you got her Bible it will comfort you so much. I know you will have hard days, but you will be so happy when you have your surgery. Everything will be so easy once you can see. You will not believe it. :) You know don't you, we got cataracts so early because we were California girls and spent so much time getting those perfect tans. :) I will be praying for you.

Larkrise garden girl said...

Kim, I know she is in heaven . She had all her faculties was always helping others and was 99 . You can't ask for anything better then that.
We were blessed she didn't suffer.
I got some good news I get the cataract surgery on the worst eye next Wednesday. I can hardly wait!!
They bumped my surgery up a week.My laryngitis is gone so At least I can talk now. Pre ops on Friday.
What a hard couple weeks. Hugs cheri.

Kurt Schindler said...

Yes, you need to take a break from blogging although I will miss your posts. Take time for yourself.

Sorry to hear about your MIL's passing. From your description, she was a wonderful woman and certainly an inspiration for all of us. Find comfort in her Bible.

I love your new floors.


I will keep Megan in my prayers. I have a niece and a nephew with MS.

Larkrise garden girl said...

Thank you Charlotte for kind words. I never knew so many blogger friends had MS in their family members. I know Alice must be doing her Prayers in Heaven because they rescheduled my cataract surgery for next week. I will be able to see. Hugs cheri