Sunday, June 26, 2016

Alice Marie Larson my mother in law a woman of faith

I have decided a take a summer breather from blogging. So much is happening so quickly .This is going to be a little sad blog but I just have need to speak my truth. First Since May my mother in law was starting to have health troubles.We would be getting updates and I kinda had nothing to say in my blog. I would start  to write and then delete.This last Fathers day a week ago we rushed up to Long Beach to be with Alice as she passed. It was a peaceful passing and I am so grateful for that.

I feel like a yo yo of emotions happy moments and just sad grief.
  About a week and a half ago we got new floors and with that alot of stuff was being moved in and out and dust sanding and of course my allergies went crazy.
I had developed a bad cough since all the dust and stuff that was in the house so when Alice called the day before she died I couldn't talk because of my horrible cough. She wanted to talk to me so I listened as she told Jack what a wonderful daughter in law I was. I regret I didn't speak to her more then I can say . I just had such a cough when talking. ...

                                                            (This was at her 99 birthday)

 Last Saturday was a big family reunion I had a big family reunion with family members I had never met in my life.There were second cousins and a cousin that lives in Crest I had never met. He drives his golf cart by our house and his dog trailing behind and Maulie loves to bark at him. Lol! I saw a brother who I had not seen in eight years and felt such mixed emotions familia and yet not.

 When my daughter became ill with MS We were kinda on our own. Sometimes when your going thru an incredible life changing event family isn't who is there for you.Nobody knows what to do and  it isn't like your getting better like the flu. It is something your family is going thru the rest of your life.Your life is never the same. You are hanging on by a finger nail and only people who have been thru true illness and heart break can truly understand.Sometimes you can't even talk about it because you relive it. Alice was always there for us .We became so much closer in those years she was the constant positive mother in law that loved our family so much.

When someone dies it seems to stir up all the other losses.I remember the feeling of  the unknown of the illness that was gripping my daughter and not knowing what was wrong. Megan  had worked so hard much like her grandmother Alice who had been a  nurse my Megan was an archaeologist who had graduated with honors.
My daughters Megan's whole life was working hard on her education for her a dream to be an archaeologist, then at the peak of her life and so close to getting her masters degree losing her health.
A parents true grief is when your child is struggling and you can't fix an illness that is devastating her life and body.The things you take for granted just like walking being young and happy and carefree has changed. Seeing a person you love in constant physical pain and not be able to do anything but pray and hope for the best.  Having a chronic illness like MS is like a daily ping pong ride one moment everything fine the next there is an exasperation and she is having seizures from pain and unable to walk. Sometimes your illness isn't like a text book illness and others judge you.  Come to find out Megan had three auto immune diseases. Never ever ever judge someone who is chronically ill you have no idea how much effort they put in the simple act of showing up for a function.If you don't understand what's wrong with someones illness just be kind it really is not that hard.The well people of this world have the luxury of just that being well.
You find out who will be there for you in the long haul and unfortunately I found out we were on our own much of the time.

 We were in survival mode trying to help our daughter driving the hour and a half  to Sun City for years and years and Alice was our prayer partner . She gave me the strength when my heart just felt broken as Megan faced one horrible health challenge after another . Her unconditional love was something I will never forget.The last eight or ten years in her 90's she emailed us weekly knew every thing that was happening to us as we struggled.
 I originally started this blog because I needed to see that I did have a good life even though my heart was permanently scarred. But I had faith cause Alice showed me her constant example. Just Keep praying......

Alice was from the depression era of hard work and frugal. Her Dad had died when she was seven and so her mom took up the husbands taxidermy business and boarders and survived Ohio winters.One of  her toys was a real stuffed squirrel.
 Alice actually has a star in La Mesa California for the countless hours of service for her community
She was my younger brothers catechism teacher and she was a strict teacher.There is so much of her I could tell and yet.
 As much as Alice was a extraordinary volunteer how she touched me was so simple.
Alice was a woman of faith. Alice's bible is filled with notes and scribbles and bits of cut out yellowed newspaper clipping of bible passages . I was asked as we left Long beach and Bixby Towers was there anything  I wanted.  I wanted that big clunky bible with Alice's small handwriting notes here and there and filled with a life time of prayer.I will miss her encouragement and her constant praise of how I was managing being there for two families my daughters and hubby and me .Her Bible will be my life time bible study and I will miss those emails and such mothers love to all of us . I will just have to pray harder in the hard times lean on her notes and hold on for dear life.

I have a funny story Jack told me how he never knew that chocolate chip cookies had more then one chip in them.  Alice only had one chip at the top of the cookie. She could make a bag of chocolate chips last a year. Alice lived 99 healthy years blind in one eye and yet able to help others always.

So after being there last Sunday as Alice passed. Monday Jack took me for a referral  eye doctor appointment  I couldn't cancel.I  have cataracts so July will be two surgeries but then my eyes will be better hopefully! Then the next emotion was Wednesday hubby and I were at a Highway patrol  awards banquet where Hubby was getting an award.Thursday I was at another doctor because my cough wouldn't go away I  have bronchitis asthma and laryngitis plus I can't see Lol.
So this Wednesday she will be buried and life will begin for me with a wonderful bible of Alice's to guide me and notes from  Alice to hopefully grow in faith and get thru this crazy life.maybe some of Alice will rub off on me.Hugs cheri
Here are some quick pics.
                                                  The chickens want to jump on the railroad

                                                                  It's hot in Crest

                                                                  CHP awards banquet

                                                        California Highway patrol Award
                                            Jack was nominated CHP non uniform employee of the year for
                                             Border Division.Jack works at division headquarters.

                                                         A grandmothers love

                                                      My new floors and Alice's chair
                                                      Maulie likes to jump on it and look out the window!

                                                                        Two of the girls

Thursday, June 9, 2016

It's a matter of age

                                                                        Joellen's garden pics

May flew by and now I can't believe it's June! There were so many things happening at once in my life. First my daughter finished her month of once a week treatment of retuxin Iv.It's a cancer drug that treats other things besides cancer. It makes her ill after treatments and of course her son got sick at the same time she was going thru it.

It compromises your immune system so she was home with us for a couple days so her pre schooler wouldn't give her what bug he had. I will never feel relaxed with her illnesses it's always scary.
Thank goodness for Megan's hubby.
Then my mother in law was in the hospital she is 99 and we were getting updates from Long beach. She is doing well now now.
The bright spot of the month I went to a garden club meetings at Joellens house.It was so much fun!

 There was a routine doctor checkup and lately my eyes have been acting up.  I can't see well when I am driving.  So it looks like now I have to have cataract surgery. During the month I have been gardening planting a raised beds training chickens.
 I went to a vintage flea market  near Julian a preschool birthday party for little Jack.It was a hoot! I am behind as usual but believe me I am busy. Saturday little Jack is graduating from preschool.Next week I am getting new floors in my old house I am so excited.I have to take apart the front room with all my small primitives. It was a busy May.June is just as busy.
                                                            The barn vintage flea market

Then in the middle of all that stressful month Morris disappeared for two whole days. He had been sniffling then he was gone. I was sure a coyote had ate him!! There was another cat missing in Crest so it didn't look good.He had been acting lethargic and sneezing so I didn't know what to think. He eats rabbits like snacks so it could have been anything he had eaten in the last month.

You know how if your a knitter ladies will say never knit a sweater for a boyfriend because if you do it's not going to end well. Well I felt that way when I was hooking my cat rug that is taking so long. I even told a gal in class I wasn't putting Morris name on it because I didn't want something to happen to Morris. So I named it Sweet Noel.I couldn't even rug hook my orange cat rug.My heart was just in a sad waiting mode.Stress can get to you. That month was hard up and down of emotions.I was worn.
Call me silly and superstitious but that's why I changed the lettering.
 Sometimes kitty's just disappear when they got old and sometimes it's easier then when you have to make the decision at the vets office. Awful as it is I have held my cats in my arms as they were put to sleep so I can be a tough bird for my pets..

Well I knew Morris never was one to miss a meal so I had in my sad mind buried him. I was  prepared to donate his kitty food to Friends of Cats. We had dumped out his litter box and I had even told my cousin he was probably gone. One night with tears in my eyes I  had made a cat eulogy post for him When like the cat in the Disney movie Tomisina he came home..

 Morris turned up on the third day!!
So hubby was off to work early on the third day and next thing I know he comes tearing in the house with Morris in his arms.Jack was in tears.My hubby didn't cry when I had major surgery he didn't  get teary eyed when I gave birth but Morris coming back he was a basket case.
When Jack came home from work that night we dashed to the vet. We wanted to find out why he was sneezing and warm. The last time Morris had been to the vet was when he got scooped up in my hubby's lazy boy recliner.Ouch! So here we were again Morris sick and meow complaining and us thinking well how much more is our adopted tubby orange kitty going to cost us. Little did I know besides a vet bill Morris was going to be scrutinized and judged on his tubby belly.

Have you ever had your cat insulted at the vets lol ?
Well first Morris had been a stray so we had no idea how old he was so we said eight years old.The vet started her list of what our Morris looked like first for eight he was fat ,weird shaped, small head,skinny legs, tarter in his teeth, sneezing, fever ,no muscle ,fur lacked luster ,his claws were torn up as if he had been running away from something.Was she looking at our cat?
Well as the vet went in the other room Jack and I looked at each other and puzzled I said I think he looks good except for the sneeze!
Well in defense of his muscles he sure can bolt and get rabbits,birds, gophers and ground squirrels.
Jack explained in a confused voice to me I like his coat! (he pets that crazy cat all evening sitting on his lap)
After Morris had his blood work we were sent home with Morris getting an antibiotic shot and a follow up visit if he didn't improve.

Now I knew Morris couldn't look that terrible so we called  up our daughter to ask her the question when did we get Morris ? We feel like he has been with us forever. Come to find out when we found Morris in our backyard  our daughter was in college. So Morris is 15 to 17 years old.
So when the puzzled Vet called with his lab work that was excellent.  I promptly informed her of his age and she said he looks good for his age!

It's a virus so his body has to fight it off but he does seem to be slowly doing better this week.I guess age matters how you are perceived lol!!Your either a mess or you look incredible for your age.
*********************************************************************************                                                   Projects the girls have been working on

Country loft quilt

Kathy stitchery

I love this quilt

                                                        Look who was in my yard today

                                                   I will catch up with all of you.hugs Cheri